The latest news from Tool

[Halo]

(According to Blair, of course)

"You know the old saying, “no news is good news”, well… that was the case as far as the recording process was going for the new Tool CD, but now things may have changed a bit. Yesterday, when I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine (a 1992 Maya) for winning the bet that I had with him involving his new film “Sleeping Dogs Lie” (I lost by default, not being able to attend the Sedona screening), not only wasn’t Maynard there, but, in what seems to be a case of enantiodromia (something becoming its opposite) if ever there was one (!), I was told the reason why he wasn’t there. I wish this post was dated April 1, but, unfortunately, it isn’t. Like a doctor giving a patient a straight, honest answer to a medical diagnosis, without sugar-coating the truth, here’s exactly what I was told: “Maynard has found Jesus.” This will come as a complete shock to most (but not all) of you, as it did to me. In fact, it just seemed like another MJK prank until I talked to the one person who I believe would know if all this was legit or not. After nearly an hour on the phone with this person, the answer I received was that Maynard has indeed “found Jesus” and that, for this reason, he’s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don’t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl… that’s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. So, in case you missed it (those who don’t read the whole post), here’s today's news: Maynard has found Jesus…"

Abandonded the project? This has to be a joke.

If not, well, I wish MJK all the best.

[Bastardometer]

I take a break from learnin/playing with my new toy (Pro Tools) to read this on Toolband.com . I'm 99.9% sure it's nothing but I have to admit I'm a little bit worried
I'm in the process as I'm writing this to find out whats going on
Fuck

[Halo]

I'm sure it is an April Fool's joke.

But what really upsets me, is some of the posts at TA. Even possibly joking people were saying shit like, "how selfish of him" and bashing him.

So what if Maynard did find Jesus? What if that made him happy and peaceful? It's not selfish to follow your heart and it would be the fans who are selfish for just wanting Maynard to be what they want him to be.

It pisses me off when people start bitching about how Maynard should do this and Maynard shouldn't do that. Maynard should do what the fuck Maynard wants to do.

[Bastardometer]

Halo said:

But what really upsets me, is some of the posts at TA. Even possibly joking people were saying shit like, "how selfish of him" and bashing him.

So what if Maynard did find Jesus? What if that made him happy and peaceful? It's not selfish to follow your heart and it would be the fans who are selfish for just wanting Maynard to be what they want him to be.

It pisses me off when people start bitching about how Maynard should do this and Maynard shouldn't do that. Maynard should do what the fuck Maynard wants to do.

Found out that Blairs' in Japan right now and according to my sources everything is O.K. , more than likely just an April Fools joke (It was news to them that MJK found Jesus)
Tool is scheduled to go back to the studio in May
If I hear anything else , I'll post

As far as MJK doing what he want's to do , Of Course he should , this just seems so left field for him
(like being the new host of TRL or Maynard just became the new WWF wrestler or he's the new promoter of McNuggets)

But what do I know
Just my opinnion

[moneyisevil]

i think he should join the WWF...
'
anways shit man i dont know what the fuck to think....i hope...im praying its all a joke,,,blair does say he wishes it was dated the next day....whats up with toolshed? they usually do something with april fools....shit.,..im sooo confused...

[moneyisevil]

oih shit here it is

[04/01/05] - Completely unexpected


I have no idea how to introduce this, so I'll just post it. This is an email Maynard (the real one) sent in moments ago:
"hi, kabir. i thought it only fair to inform you first, before you hear it second or third hand. some recent events have led me to the rediscovery of jesus. tool will need to take the back seat. this may come as a shock. i just thought you should know considering all the support you given us over the years.

all my faith. maynard."
This is an actual email from actual MJK. I was going to type up a post about how the RIAA had sent us a letter shutting down The Tool Page (as this year's annual April Fools' Day joke), but now I just don't think it seems appropriate. More on this as it develops. §<br>
Also, the Opinion forums are down temporarily. They will return as soon as possible. §TEXTTEXT

[Halo]

This is really stupid.

It's not even a funny April Fool's joke. It's kind lame.

As B said, it's too far fetched. They could have come up with something that at least had been more believable.

They are playing it well though and Tool Army is nuts right now. I don't think I've seem so many people posting.

One thing that caught my attention:
Maynard never capititalizes words in e-mails. The e-mail Kabir posted has no capitalization. So either Kabir is not in on the joke and actually got that e-mail, or he is very good posting it in the exact way Maynard sends e-mails.

[Halo]

An old pic, but fitting for today:

[alienation]

Yeah this is totally unbelievable.

the rediscovery of jesus

When did he discover jesus the first time?

[Halo]

LOL!

It should say Kill Yourself though. (According "No Quarter")

[britany]

Maynard like joking...He probably is....But what if he's not.....Well if he has found jesus...I happy for him...But still.....

[TheAnomicSoul]

I'm all for him if he found Jesus. I'm very happy for him (if it's true). I don't think it's true though. It all looks believable but I seriously doubt this. I was sad when Head found Jesus cause he left Korn. Maynard only said Tool will take a back-seat. So there it dosent really matter. I've talked to some people (not you brit) and they sound like Maynard quitted Tool & APC together. It's his own life. If he wants to be spiritual in Christ than let him. Does it really matter if Maynard found Christ? No it dosent. It's his life and his desions. Why whine if somebody else found God? It's not like he is calling you a prick and killing your dog. Let him be.

[LetItSlide]

Ok, I don't even know what to say....

On one hand this all seems too surreal to be true, on the other hand, this could be very much true. I just don't know what to think right now. It would sadden me beyond words to have to come to terms with the fact that there will be no more Tool or APC (if it really is coming down to that).....and yet, if what Toolband and Toolshed and everyone else is saying is true, and Maynard has found God, I find myself wishing him nothing but good, as I always have. I hope he finds the peace (it always seemed to me) that he'd been looking for.

PEACE
Priscilla

[britany]

Maynard could have been playing a joke on him or he's going wait along time and then tell every one it's a joke or just come out with the album...ha ha i see your trick's Maynard.....Good one maynard....

[Halo]

You guys are all wonderful! I have the best members of any board around.

I've checked around and a lot of people are really bashing Maynard. A lot of people are saying that if this is true are, they are very pissed and Maynard should get his ass back to Tool.

Every post here, even if you are sad that, if this is true and there was no more APC or Tool, you all wished Maynard well. Instead of thinking of yourselves and your pleasure, you wish Maynard happiness and peace.

You guys are the best.

Thank you.