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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Mar 17, 2005 2:10:41 GMT -5
Heres something i wanted to try, the poetry is sloppy but i want to see how it works out.
Bleeding eternaly
Lost again, bleeding eternaly on my own. A crying child inside, lonley, begging for every emotion to hault. Fed by desirable illousions, tortured by my own self- hate. Blessed with a picture of your face. Haunted by the memory of your voice. Touched by you in every dream, togeather forever, only a fantasy. I cant take this anymore, I need this hunger released from me. Breathing hard and deeply, bleeding eternaly. Slipping farther away, i cannot grasp this life so gratefully. Picking up this razor holding it towards my wrist. Forcing the blade down, my skin so softly kissed. Blind and broken, picking up a blade so hastefully. Ending all this madness and pain inside from bleeding eternaly.
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Post by TheAnomicSoul on Mar 17, 2005 3:02:24 GMT -5
^That's a awesome poem man. Great job CorruptedLook at our bombastic society Mulitple forms of cupidity With a criterion for winsome Our true indepence held ransom It's our demagogue now We’re extenuated anyway they know how Afraid to scream, cause an uproar Forced to feel so gossamer Contiguously a group may arise Thier actions taken by surprise Their deeds often ostentatious Show how society is sanctimonious This controversy has no reason Ofter ingited because of treason Look at all the decieving Yet so many are still believing Scintillating ways to deduction We are the cause of our own destruction Yet we say we are ameliorating Slowly society is deteriorating
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 17, 2005 7:10:09 GMT -5
Bleeding eternalyquote] Not sloppy at all SF. In fact, one of your best. I really liked it. P.S. You always write stuff that matches your AV. ;D
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 17, 2005 7:12:10 GMT -5
I had to get out a dictionary for this one Soul, but I really dug it. ;D Very nice way of mixing different words and stimulating the mind----> always nice.
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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Mar 17, 2005 12:50:51 GMT -5
Thank you very much for your kind comments they mean alot to me. Great job with your poem soul, it speaks out alot
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Post by moneyisevil on Mar 17, 2005 17:12:23 GMT -5
Lost again, bleeding eternaly on my own. A crying child inside, lonley, begging for every emotion to hault. Fed by desirable illousions, tortured by my own self- hate. Blessed with a picture of your face. Haunted by the memory of your voice.. WOW this relates to how i feel so well...these lines are amazing...i have deffinatley felt like i cant get someone's voice or face outta my head to the point where it drives me mad..where i just want everything to stop...but what happens when it stops? Touched by you in every dream, togeather forever, only a fantasy. I cant take this anymore, I need this hunger released from me. Breathing hard and deeply, bleeding eternaly. This touches me...because i can relate....thanks for sharing...
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Post by TheAnomicSoul on Mar 17, 2005 17:31:36 GMT -5
I had to get out a dictionary for this one Soul, but I really dug it. ;D Very nice way of mixing different words and stimulating the mind----> always nice. haha yea I heard that many times. I actully had to make a diffrent version with understandable words. If any of you people here were confused with the use of words i can easily post my other version. Thank you for liking it VOG ;D
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 17, 2005 17:34:21 GMT -5
Don't post the other version. Make them use the dicitonary!!! Mind over matter guys!!! ;D
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Post by TheAnomicSoul on Mar 17, 2005 17:51:17 GMT -5
lol yea they need to stimulate their mind with using a dictionary. For some reason I'm really into reading it to find new words to complicate people with ;D
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 17, 2005 17:55:32 GMT -5
lol yea they need to stimulate their mind with using a dictionary. For some reason I'm really into reading it to find new words to complicate people with ;D I like reading the theasarus. Then I can defienetly use words in crazy ways.
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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Mar 18, 2005 0:25:56 GMT -5
Thank you much moneyisevil for your comments im really glad my wrighting means something to others out there. To answer the question about what happens when it stops im not really sure, theres always someone there, always someone haunting me.
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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Mar 18, 2005 1:37:55 GMT -5
Ok i designed this peice of work to be a duet kinda thing, i put either woman or man beside each line so it makes the poem seem like the people are saying these things to each other.
A Shadow in the Light
(woman) Searching for you, let the dark lead the way (man) Dancing gracefully in a graveyard surrounded by dead i will remain. (woman) Tireless and empty, led by a stream of black roses (man) Joyless and cold without you by my side. (woman) There once was a time when we were togeather, and i was the answer to your disease. (man) You rescued me we are bound forever, locked in this cell it was you who carried the key.
(man) Torn out of cold and loneliness, a single thorn, the darkest one you first kissed. Consumed that night, your fear has faded, as the dawn arose there remaind a shadow in the light.
(woman) Burning me inside, the scar of your words dig deeper inside of me. (man) The sent of your skin still echoes in the deepest sea. (woman) My soul for you a small price in this fantasy. (man) We dance togeather surrounded by the deepest shadows in this eternity.
Sorry it coulndt be longer this poem was alot more complicated then the others i have written.
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 18, 2005 7:02:56 GMT -5
That was really unique Stinkfist. Another good one by you. I liked the idea of a "duet".
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 18, 2005 17:23:40 GMT -5
Dead End
I'm at a crossroads Think I'll turn left Little further down Dead end Back to the crossroads This time a right Shorter than last Dead end Back to the crossroads Maybe straight I do believe Long stretch of miles Dead end Back to the crossroads The way I came maybe? Bad and rocky road Dead end Back to the crossroads Straight down Falling forever Dead end Back to the crossroads Can only go up from here
this is a little different then my usual stuff ;D
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 18, 2005 17:37:08 GMT -5
(no title) What's more real than hating this? If I can hurt I can still think a little Release this struggle Let him take his perfect life back I fucking hate this place again God damn you god damn you god damn you Choke it in and wash it down The blood of lambs is wearing thin I'd rather let the wolf get his prize- -than let the shepherd keep me locked
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