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Post by Halo on Feb 16, 2005 22:57:18 GMT -5
Awhile back someone at TA had made a post about "W Ketchup" If you've never heard of it, go here: www.wketchup.com/ They were joking about the slogan, "It comes in one flavor: American". Someone asked what America tastes like. I don't know why, but that struck me and I wrote this: Taste of America[/size] AMERICA tastes…<br>like the blood of the common man. Doused in a strong, thick nectar to hide the fact that we are still here. It tastes cold and metallic like the stone and steel of corporate buildings, sugar coated to hide the deceit and rot that goes on within. It tastes like the tears and worries of the unemployed covered in the taste of sweat of the working man to mask their ever growing numbers. It tastes like the decay of the elderly and poor saturated with the taste of the fruits of wealth and washed down quickly with the sweet waters of the fountains of youth to hide that they exist. It takes like the death of thousands covered in the taste of lies to make us believe we are tasting freedom and peace. It tastes like a fine wine to make us feel warm and loved but it’s spiked with a hard liquor to fool us and dull our senses. It tastes like the bitter pills and cherry flavored elixirs the doctors and pharmaceutical companies swear we need to numb our taste buds. We need to taste the sourness of the grapes of wrath to fuel our anger and awake our taste buds . We need to let the tart flavor of a sorbet of inspiration linger in our mouths so that we can renew and cleanse our palates and wash away the dull yet sour tastes left in our mouths. We need to taste the acidic and saltiness like the fluids that hold the beginnings of life so that we can be reborn and reawakened. We need to taste the sweetness like the milk of a strong and loving mothers breast to keep us alive, make us thrive, make us strong and resilient so that we can change the taste of America. We have all these tastes that fool us into feeling satisfied. We need to feel the hunger, feed the hunger and make ourselves strong again.
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 17, 2005 8:24:03 GMT -5
Keep 'em coming v.o.g.! Great stuff. I love this line, "escaped the swamp to face the fire'We have some very talented people here. I love it! thanks! and i love the american poem. you wrote that?? it's really good. at first i just read the poem then i read what you wrote at the top and i was like wow. i thought it was from a magazine article or something. really great stuff.
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Post by Halo on Feb 17, 2005 8:53:16 GMT -5
Aw, thanks v.o.g. What a nice compliment. I was kind of afraid to post it as it's a bit, I don't know, weird I think. I was actually quite pleased with it when I finished writing it, but figured other people would read and think....okay, that's just bizarre.
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 7:07:01 GMT -5
This is only getting posted b/c Halo thought it would be a good idea. I was sitting around listening to John Lennon yesterday and just started writing this. I don't think it's all that great and it's not one of my better writings. I'm a little unconfident with this one and I don't think any will really pay any attention to it, but we're all family here so here it is:
IF LENNON WAS IN HEAVEN If Lennon was in heaven Then maybe he was wrong But if he died for nothing Why do we pray so long We waste our faith on others Instead of bleeding for ourselves Imagine there's no Lennon It's easy cause he's gone If there was no heaven That he never made it home Pretend it isn't even there Why waste our life on prayer We could've focused on the future Instead praying to the past Faith is simply strength within Not a silly man who never grins The cross may have never been His blood may have never spilled Either way, right or wrong We all will die without him
obviously the "imagine there's no lennon" was inspired by Imagine. Great cover by APC!!!!!!!!!
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 8:54:33 GMT -5
Here's another I just wrote about ten minutes ago. I obviously have nothing to do at work so I sit here and write all day. It's kind of morbid, but I really like it. Hopefully nobody will get pissed beacuse I keep posting so frequently. *****
Front Row At My Own Funeral
New suit Listening to poem’s whim He’s a little honest My taste is bearable Lying here stiff and cold Warm and dull and absent Why the big commotion? Tears won’t bring the life back Clipped and groomed and suffering This is not a shadow of my being Who is this empty imposter? Sinking down and covered up Covering the past with- All the things we built This fortress is failing I am simply changing forms Leave behind your silences Laugh aloud and concentrate You can join me all in one We are here together to rejoice While all are buried alive and twitching
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Post by Nyarlathotep on Feb 18, 2005 9:06:47 GMT -5
I don't know why you were hesitant to post the Lennon poem, voiceofgod. I thought it was really good. The only thing I would change is the last line - it's not a very good last line; it kind of leaves the reader hanging. Actually, I think the poem is more effective without the last two lines, but that's just my opinion and you can do whatever you want with it.
Also, I agree that APC did a great cover of "Imagine."
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 9:10:09 GMT -5
Yeah I agree. The last two lines suck. They will be delted. Thanks for the input! Glad you liked it.
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Post by Nyarlathotep on Feb 18, 2005 9:12:59 GMT -5
Why has no one commented on the poems that I posted in here?
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 9:15:06 GMT -5
Why has no one commented on the poems that I posted in here? I'll help ya out. Give me a minute to read and I'll tell you what I think.
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 9:25:52 GMT -5
I really liked Journey To Forever. I hate to ruin a beautiful poem with a dumb question, but was that about someone close to you passing away or a broken heart experience? I wasn't sure which to take from it. I did really like it though. Especially "Parallel lives never intersecting" - that was a very good line. Thoughts on Pavement was awesome. I hate my father and stepfather so I really related to that one. I loved the second paragraph. "Nothing left for this house to hide. Peeling paint like layers of skin. Curling back to expose the beauty within." Great metaphor. I love when people compare feelings/emotions to pait peeling. It's such a cool use of words. It's the best way to describe shedding feeling. "Ghosts in the closet screaming for solace." was really cool visually. Reminded me of the little hurtful memories I keep stored away in the back of my head. Really good stuff Nyarlathotep. You should post some more. I'll make sure and let you know what I think so you don't feel left out anymore!
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 18, 2005 11:13:11 GMT -5
This one was inspired by a conversation with moneyisevil. Thanks for the inspiration!!
"Positive"
Strive to feed, just inhale and breath Plaids and stripes, my soul to this place Darker it seems when the demons come out Pulled by the gum line to a dark hole I hate I’m learning the world through two eyes obsolete Waiting for my straight jacket I’m safe in this closet with pads on the wall Comparing my screams to nails on the board And all of my dreams to the mud on your road Paving the way for the heroes to die Fall and learn me, ask before I burn out I am climbing but can’t make it close Hide the brilliance, and seek all the lies Our energy is two tone and pulling Ride the wave out, happy is a fraction’s worth On the plus side dimness is gone With the tidal wave growing in strength I rest to gasp and choke my breath again
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Post by Nyarlathotep on Feb 18, 2005 13:19:05 GMT -5
I really liked Journey To Forever. I hate to ruin a beautiful poem with a dumb question, but was that about someone close to you passing away or a broken heart experience? I wasn't sure which to take from it. I did really like it though. Especially "Parallel lives never intersecting" - that was a very good line. Thoughts on Pavement was awesome. I hate my father and stepfather so I really related to that one. I loved the second paragraph. "Nothing left for this house to hide. Peeling paint like layers of skin. Curling back to expose the beauty within." Great metaphor. I love when people compare feelings/emotions to pait peeling. It's such a cool use of words. It's the best way to describe shedding feeling. "Ghosts in the closet screaming for solace." was really cool visually. Reminded me of the little hurtful memories I keep stored away in the back of my head. Really good stuff Nyarlathotep. You should post some more. I'll make sure and let you know what I think so you don't feel left out anymore! "Journey to Forever" is about a relationship between two soulmates in which one is not getting as much as she is giving and is feeling lonely and overlooked. She's starting to question if her partner is really her soulmate. I'm glad you enjoyed "Thoughts on Pavement." It's probably my best poem to date, and I'm thinking of submitting it to a literary magazine. Thank you for taking the time to critique my work. I'll be sure to do the same for you, and I'll post some more stuff as soon as I write it!
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Post by Halo on Feb 19, 2005 1:58:14 GMT -5
I'm so sorry Nyarlathotep!! I read your poems and thought for sure I had replied because I remember how much "Thoughts on Pavement" touched me. I too loved the line, "Ghosts in the closet screaming for solace". I thought "Journey to Forever" was about Maynard. I'm sorry. It is beautiful. But to me it seemed if you were speaking to someone you wish you could have (making the wish on the feather). Also, the year of the Dragon, that would be Maynard. "Does Sirius shine brighter in the desert sky?" - Arizona? And this line, "Until then, transform your pain into poetry Let your words inspire and comfort us all" reminded me of the 'Nard. ;D
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Post by Nyarlathotep on Feb 19, 2005 8:58:03 GMT -5
I thought "Journey to Forever" was about Maynard. I'm sorry. It is beautiful. But to me it seemed if you were speaking to someone you wish you could have (making the wish on the feather). Also, the year of the Dragon, that would be Maynard. "Does Sirius shine brighter in the desert sky?" - Arizona? And this line, "Until then, transform your pain into poetry Let your words inspire and comfort us all" reminded me of the 'Nard. My secret is out! Yes, actually, "Journey to Forever" is about Maynard - good job deciphering the clues. I wrote it at a crazy time in my life when I was so obsessed with him that I thought he was my soulmate. Oh, wait a minute, I still believe that!
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Post by Halo on Feb 19, 2005 11:58:01 GMT -5
My secret is out! Yes, actually, "Journey to Forever" is about Maynard - good job deciphering the clues. I wrote it at a crazy time in my life when I was so obsessed with him that I thought he was my soulmate. Oh, wait a minute, I still believe that! I knew it! I know you are joking about the obsession thing and him being your soul mate. But, To anyone here: Please, please, please, ......no obsessions. Love the man, admire the man, respect the man. Enjoy the music. But no obsessions. It's just not a good thing.
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