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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Feb 25, 2005 7:21:04 GMT -5
Touching me in this reality
consuming you, your face drawn to me
Your eyes tied down with a black ribbon, take into mind your fate is seald, remaining in the dark but not alone.
Our embrace has become eternal
you cannot hide from me
taken by an attractive illusion
our beauty is only skin deep.
The stars begin to fade
The night has transformed into day
I take a look the other way, and see you running away.
Why did you have to lie? couldnt you say goodbye?
Your gone now but your still here
your shadow still beckons me
haunting my every move, you begin to unravel things i could not see
Couldnt you say goodbye? Instead of leaving me here to die
I cannot forgive you, i tell myself as i sit alone in madness
When i go down so will you, punctured wiht a spear of pain and sadness
I finaly open my eyes and begin to relize, as i dig this knife into your flesh
the only tears runing are coming from my eyes.
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Post by Nyarlathotep on Feb 25, 2005 16:25:31 GMT -5
I'll tell you what, moneyisevil...give me some feedback on at least one of the poems I've posted, and I'll comment on yours, ok?  |
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Post by voiceofgod on Feb 25, 2005 16:56:24 GMT -5
I'll tell you what, moneyisevil...give me some feedback on at least one of the poems I've posted, and I'll comment on yours, ok? You tell 'em Ny! Grrrrrrrr! I love it!! |
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Post by Halo on Feb 26, 2005 10:25:58 GMT -5
I really liked "You Never Believe What You Say", money.
I'm kind of at a loss for words, as this poem feels very personal to me. Your words spoke to me. I felt them (if that makes any sense). The only feedback I can give is that, to me, those words were very powerful. And I thank you you for sharing them.
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Post by Halo on Feb 26, 2005 10:35:55 GMT -5
Touching me in this reality consuming you, your face drawn to me Your eyes tied down with a black ribbon, take into mind your fate is seald, remaining in the dark but not alone. Our embrace has become eternal you cannot hide from me taken by an attractive illusion our beauty is only skin deep. The stars begin to fade The night has transformed into day I take a look the other way, and see you running away. Why did you have to lie? couldnt you say goodbye? Your gone now but your still here your shadow still beckons me haunting my every move, you begin to unravel things i could not see Couldnt you say goodbye? Instead of leaving me here to die I cannot forgive you, i tell myself as i sit alone in madness When i go down so will you, punctured wiht a spear of pain and sadness I finaly open my eyes and begin to relize, as i dig this knife into your flesh the only tears runing are coming from my eyes. Once again xxstinkfistxx.....your writing is wonderful. Very heartfelt and real. I'm so glad that you feel comfortable posting your poems here. I'm glad you give us the chance to read your thoughts. It's an honor that you do and I thank you. |
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Post by NeonTool on Feb 26, 2005 11:38:34 GMT -5
Black Rose
Black rose,
I want you my black rose
My fiendish sort of love
I want you to hold me
Hold me now, break the line, breach my mind
Come with me to the other side
Fill me up until no more can fit
The darker you are, the more I succumb
Don't be afraid
I'm not yet ready to die, come closer
Whisper your desire my rose
Let me show you the way
Leave your brethren behind
They won't save you from eternity
Nor will they worship you as I do!
My rose...
Come now, follow me
My maiden of divine order
I sense our fate is near
May we now rejoice in peace
One last step to immortality
One step to reach the limit
Let's join hands and clear the way
Come my black rose, let's step into the light...
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Post by moneyisevil on Feb 26, 2005 15:23:06 GMT -5
Neon Tool that was an awsome poem...it was very dark and mysterious...i felt something weird when reading it...
My fav. lines
Let's join hands and clear the way
Come my black rose, let's step into the light..
They just remind me of some deep feelings i had for an ex of mine...good shit
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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Feb 26, 2005 20:00:10 GMT -5
I thank you for your kind comments. Great poem btw Neontool i really liked the ending line. |
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Post by Halo on Feb 27, 2005 12:10:57 GMT -5
Hey xxstinkfistxx!!!!
Good to see you!
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Post by NeonTool on Feb 27, 2005 15:17:40 GMT -5
Thx for the comments, I try to do my best, but it's quite difficult since it's not my native language, and although I can speak and write in english quite well, it's sometimes hard to find synonims and such when writing, hehe. This is a very good topic, and I've seen you people are very creative and come out with excellent texts. Keep up the good work.  |
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Post by Halo on Feb 27, 2005 15:35:34 GMT -5
but it's quite difficult since it's not my native language You seem do quite well with the English language and your poem translates remarkably. Where are you from? |
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Post by NeonTool on Feb 27, 2005 15:49:42 GMT -5
I'm from Portugal, small town, sinkhole  No "toolies" around in miles, so it's quite a lonely place to live in, to me of course, hehe. |
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Post by Halo on Feb 27, 2005 16:26:13 GMT -5
I'm from Portugal, small town, sinkhole No "toolies" around in miles, so it's quite a lonely place to live in, to me of course, hehe. Well, this can be your "second home" with all of us "toolies" and MJK fans as your friends! |
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Post by NeonTool on Feb 27, 2005 17:03:35 GMT -5
Yes, and you all seem really nice people I don't think I'll have any problem in adapting myself to this "second home" |
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Post by moneyisevil on Feb 28, 2005 14:09:13 GMT -5
Indecisive
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Stuck in her frontal lobe battling images
Passing time underneath the rusted bridge
Swallowed by a flash of silence
Where copious bodies gig their graves
Sporadic and domesticated
Shining but partially faded
And spider eggs continue copulating
Into the night
Eyes swollen shut
For they dig the graves for the dying
Inside fetal tissue hiding shades of grey
They won’t leave haunting her dreams
They won’t go away
Abroad chilling new landscape
Floating without taste, leaving behind a scene
With chiseled markers all in place
And a final hymn
So indecisive
Never, never allowing choice
Freeze into stone speckles
Diamonds in the rough
Torn full of impatience
Never learned enough
She was clawing at the top
And breaking all her nails
Etching immortality
But now there’s no one there
And the preacher
Spoken word of reverence
Admiration of his kind
How you’re so elegant
Sleeping in the box of pine
I just want an end to call mine
Reflect off the visions man can never find
(preacher talking)
Just a resting place
Unfamiliar with change
Let the grass be her body
And the rain recycles her remains
Cuz it’s the last time
The very last time
I promise this to be the last time
I moan….
Rinse the dirt from my hands
Bathe my feet in the sound
Drown my head in the ocean
And my heart in the clouds
Delete the miscommunicated
And abolish her sentence
Cart her soul to the abyss
Crust of another planet
Protect the withered bone marrow
Endless surroundings of piercing luminosity
Kindless compassion to the character that must judge
TEXTTEXTTEXT
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