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Post by Halo on Mar 21, 2005 14:10:45 GMT -5
We're here for each other, music brings us together, and MJK has brought us together to share and work through our life's trials and tribulations..... We will overcome this, and one day the right one will love us for who we are.... we just gotta hang in there hun! I'm hanging in there lilac! I'ts been a bad day, so it's kind of brought out this little rant of mine. I've been crying because of sadness, but now the tears are from a warm feeling. From you guys here and a BD post made for me at Tool Army. Thanks lilac for sharing with me and showing support and understanding of my ramblings. Thanks vog for the laughs. This has become a special place and I'm thankful for the wonderful people who came here.
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 21, 2005 14:22:56 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D
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Post by xxxxSTINKFISTxxxx on Mar 21, 2005 15:24:30 GMT -5
Wow H. that was a really interesting freewrite, ive been there once before as well and you described it so well , im soo glad you shared it with us . I to have had some hard times, you see because of so many bad relationships last year, i ended up doing more then just cutting myself, i tried overdoesing and had over 20 cuts on each arm and 8 on each leg. There were about 15 ppl there in my house from shcool, they were all people who cared about me but i had no idea they did. Then because of one girl who i love like a sister was frightend she called the cops on me. So me and 3 of my buddies got in a car and took off. We lasted about 2 hours but the very last spot we went to ended up in the cops finding us and me getting my stomach pumped for 40 min. The next day i was sent to a hospital because my mind was way to unstable. I couldnt have strings of any kind in there, i couldnt have any music, i couldnt have any contact with the outside world. I had to were a scrub, and throughout the whole day if we didnt listen to what the doctors were telling us or we would get druged and sent in the rooms. For 3 months i had to live there and put up with this whole thing. For 3 months I was someones property, when your in there they own you, they wont let you out until they think your ready, and anything they say you have to do. Finaly when i was let out i was afraid to get my old life back togeather. In shcool i was afraid to talk to anyone, I ended up wanting to go back to the hospital and wanting my life to pass me by because it was a safe place. That year i dated 1 more girl who used me and dumped me. So i decided to never date again and a year later here i am still alone. But, after all that has happend im glad, it makes me stronger inside, it gives me the gift to see past things that will hurt me. I know theres someone out there for everyone, and we all have each other to support us in time of need wich i am very very thankful for ;D Thats my freewright for a while, thanx for listening everyone and thanx for the kind comments about the last one, and we are all here for ya H.
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Post by lilacJ on Mar 21, 2005 17:58:01 GMT -5
I'm hanging in there lilac! I'ts been a bad day, so it's kind of brought out this little rant of mine. I've been crying because of sadness, but now the tears are from a warm feeling. From you guys here and a BD post made for me at Tool Army. Thanks lilac for sharing with me and showing support and understanding of my ramblings. Thanks vog for the laughs. This has become a special place and I'm thankful for the wonderful people who came here. Glad to hear it! There are bad days, the good days should outweigh them, and if not they are coming soon! We're here to make it all seem easier to bear...... Have a great day! I'm off to dream about MJK hopefully! Oh, yeah and training vog! Boot camp here I come! ;D Love ya guys and gals! J
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 22, 2005 7:14:24 GMT -5
Oh, yeah and training vog! Boot camp here I come! ;D ;D
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Post by Halo on Mar 22, 2005 20:29:00 GMT -5
Thats my freewright for a while, thanx for listening everyone and thanx for the kind comments about the last one, and we are all here for ya H. We're all here for you too, Stinky. Sorry to hear what all you went through. But you got through it! I'm proud of you and happy for you. There's always the rough days (like my sappy pity party yesterday!) but then the sun comes up on a new day with new beginnings.
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Post by voiceofgod on Mar 23, 2005 7:14:41 GMT -5
We're all here for you too, Stinky. lmao ;D
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Post by moneyisevil on Mar 31, 2005 15:24:46 GMT -5
Where the fuck was your lord everytime you take someone else's life?
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Post by Halo on Apr 2, 2005 11:54:12 GMT -5
Where the fuck was your lord everytime you take someone else's life? This freewrite has me curious. If you write anymore on this, please post.
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Post by voiceofgod on Apr 4, 2005 7:21:48 GMT -5
This freewrite has me curious. If you write anymore on this, please post. Yes, it did seem like a clifhanger. Fill us in MIE.
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Post by voiceofgod on Apr 6, 2005 17:04:04 GMT -5
writersblockfuckwritersblock fuckwritersblockfuckwritersblo ckfuckwritersblocwritersblockfuck kfuckwritersblockfuckwritersblockfuckw ritersblockfuckw ritersblockfuckwritersblockfuckwriter sblockfuckwriterwritersblockfuckwritersb lockfucksblockfuckwritersbwritersblockfucklockfuckwr itersblockfuckwritersblockfuckwriterwrite rsblockfuckwritersblockfucksblockfuckwritersblockfuww ritersblockfuckritersblockfuckckwriters blockfuckwriterwritersblockfucksbwrite rsblockfucklockfuckwritersblockfuwriwriter sblockfucktersblockfuckckwritersblockfuck writersblowritersblockfuckckfuck
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Post by voiceofgod on Apr 22, 2005 11:52:30 GMT -5
i haven't seen the warm embrace of a smile for an outstretched number of days. i am weaker in this state of isolation. i am without hunger, but in need of survival. i wish i could go back and take this all away. erase the chains of my existence and completely eradicate the thought of myself hurting others. if i was totally invisible, things would operate smoother here on the mountain. ah but sadly, i am stranded here with no heavy machinery to travel back to the conception of my creation. there are one too many people in this world. i was a mistake and so is this life.
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ravenous
Full MJK Fan
Try to read between the lines
Posts: 123
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Post by ravenous on May 2, 2005 20:54:48 GMT -5
Some really interesting stuff on this thread. My thoughts: I am in the box. Inside it feels so cold, but it is on fire. And I am trapped. and I am crying for help, for love, for drinks to contain my thirst. I can't help but breathe. The fumes are toxic. My life is toxic. I feel nauseous. I want to be sick but if I vomit I'm afraid I will die. I'm always afraid. I watch your face through the curtains. It's so messed up. I watch your face through the window. Its so distorted. I watch your face. It isn't a window. It is a mirror. But I don't want to see it anymore I want to break. I set my box on fire.
I wrote that down randomly on a piece of paper about 2 days ago. I thought it would be fitting.
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Post by Nessie on May 3, 2005 13:20:01 GMT -5
i was a mistake and so is this life. This is not true, vog! Nobody is a mistake, everyone has a reason for being here. Please don't think like that! I realized this when my uncle committed suicide not even a year ago. Before that I sometimes really thought that I cannot take this any longer...but with all the pain, tears and grief this suicide evoked, I will never dare to think about not wanting to live any longer. When the day is just so beautiful and warm I always think how much he misses not being here. And nothings worth dying for except children or siblings. It still makes me cry thinking about my uncle. Any moment something really tragic can touch you without any preparation, it simply happens. What really never comes into a person's mind when they think about committing suicide is how egoistic they are. It causes so much pain and suffering. I always have to think about it when I listen to "The Noose". Like Maynard said that they don't want to realize what they've done to their loved ones... So to everybody out there....please, please don't think about killing and hurting yourself or taking drugs until you're almost there! You don't know how much pain you cause with it!
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Post by Halo on May 3, 2005 13:50:32 GMT -5
Damnit VOG....I want to wring your neck right now.
You know how much everyone here cares about you. You know you are a good person with a sweet and caring soul.
Look at what you create through your writing. It has touched people here. To be able to touch people as you do with your writing.....you think that is a mistake? It's a gift.
Do you know how long it's been since I have had a warm embraced? Do you know how long it has been since I have felt love? Yea, it fucking gets to you.
But you never, ever give up. There is something out there for you, for me, for us all. Sometimes it just takes a while to find it.
You give up and you could be missing out something amazing and wonderful that is eventually going to come in to your life.
I would never take that chance of missing out on that.
You feel lonely? You feel sad? You feel no one cares? You come here and talk to us. We care. I care.
You're not a mistake dear. It's just feels like that sometimes. But that's you looking at yourself....if you could see yourself through our eyes, you would see a shining star. Life is not a mistake. It just has a lot of bumps and twists and turns in it. Eventually the road smooths out.
You have a purpose here, you just don't realize it yet. You'll find out. And I'll keep reminding you in the meantime.
H.
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